That Fragrance


It came unexpectedly and I couldn’t be happier.

It is not one thing; it is a collection of souvenirs. It is that touch, that smile, that look, that kiss, that lick, that smell that is all over my skin! That fragrance that I sleep with, think about and crave for.

It doesn’t really smell like a cologne brand anymore. It smells like him. Somehow that fragrance isn’t a product anymore; it is associated with him. When I smell it, I smell him.

I’m just thankful for that fragrance.

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Image source: http://www.dirtyandthirty.com/wp-content/upload

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Tingling


It was unexpected, far from expected!

Then came that fraction-of-the-second touch and everything changed.

A sensation of closeness grew stronger and warmer. More intense, more exciting than the second before.

I wanted more. I felt greedy with CRAVE.

I CRAVED that amazing, heart-racing, tingling feeling that crept under my skin and I didn’t want to let go.

I was willing to take risks, to ignore ridiculous ‘society standards’ that made the enjoyable a taboo, that made life suck more! I was willing to let go just to experience an extra second of pleasure, happiness, rush.

It’s my new, sweet addiction and I don’t need saving.

It saved me.

I am no longer from rotting in the coffin of boredom. I am brought to the light of life.

Cheers!

 

 

 

 

Dishonest Intentions


I am usually an extremely caring, generous, understanding person. But, things will get ugly if I suspect the other party is using me to their advantage in a sneaky way. I can’t describe to which extent my thoughts would reach to. I feel something is boiling inside of me and I am about to explode at any second. I’ve been in this place so many times when dating. I have not fallen in love yet, and I am not in a rush. Till this day, I have no idea what romantic love really is. This is because when I get to dating, I tend to be overly caring and a great listener. If the feelings of the other party disappear, they don’t disclose it. They’d rather keep talking to me for their own advantage. I’ve been with those who use me as a listener as if I am a therapist or a shoulder to cry on literally. I’ve been with those who played nice and “the good guy” to lure me and when I played too hard to get, they confessed of their true intentions after living in a lie they made me believe. I have been with those who wanted my professional background to help with their project. Once they got what they needed, they ghosted. As if I was an object, senseless, heartless without emotions. As if I didn’t really exist.

My friend was telling me dating has changed so much since her days. It was much easier since they weren’t very exposed to social media, texting, the media. They didn’t see much. If they date, it’s a date. If they kiss, it was a commitment just like marriage. She said she had never experienced ghosting, or pretending, or hard times while dating. And, she’s right. I doubt “love” or “feelings” still exist with all this technology around people making everything instant, fast and available when they need it. Before they even know it, it’s defining their personalities, their attitudes, their behaviors, and actions.

Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather have a face-to-face conversation with someone for hours than to text day and night. I’d rather go on adventures, take risks and have fun face-to-face. I’d rather have a surprise in person, not by text or a call. I’d rather be living a simple, farm life with my cows and plants than living in a big city life filled with liars and actors.

I can’t believe this world has become like this, full of dishonest intentions.

No Personal-ity


I spent the last week watching 1950s and 1960s romantic movies. Every second of each movie swept me away. The love was so authentic, so pure, so personal. There was a lot of interaction between two people, even though it was harder to communicate than today. Nowadays, there is still interaction but only behind the screen.

Whenever I go on a date, the first thing they ask me is about my presence online. Do you have Whatsapp? Are you on Facebook? Can you add me? Do you have an Instagram? I’d like to check you out!

But why? What will my Facebook profile give you? Will it answer your questions about who I really am? Or do you just care about outer beauty, that inner beauty no longer matters to you? Are people today this shallow and that addicted to tech? That they’d rather spend days and nights texting and stalking behind a screen than actually being with someone in person.

I want to go back to the old days when dating had more meaning, more value, more anticipation, and suspense. You want to know me better, let’s meet and we’ll talk. Let’s flirt, in person. Let’s dance in the streets at night and be silly, in person. Let’s laugh and cry, in person. Show me some personality, in person!

My Facebook profile won’t tell or show you anything!

I don’t know if such people still exist. Do they?

Your Touch Is …


Lukewarm.

Not too hot and not too cold.

Your touch gives me the chills and shivers.

Your touch gives me the warmness and coziness.

At the same time.

Your touch makes me obsessed, addicted.

Your touch makes me helpless, fragile.

Your touch makes me alive again, again.

At the same time.

Not too hot to burn me alive

Not too cold to freeze me alive

Just temperature right, enough

To keep my heart racing, my cheeks blushing, my lips wet

Goosebumps everywhere

Your touch is what I need right now, every day.

What is Red?


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The first thing that comes to mind when I hear “red” is color. Red is one of the colors of the rainbow, the color of an apple, the color of blood, the color of some objects, the color of red nail polish, the color of rouge lipstick, the color of cherry, the color of strawberry, the color of tomato and the color of the heart. “Red” colors a lot of things but only one stands out the most: The Heart. We talk almost every day about factors that affect the heart, from heart diseases to cardio exercises to love that make the heart go crazy. The heart needs a lot of care from our side since it brings us to life; without a heart we can’t exist. We need to keep it pumping by daily exercise, by eating the right food, and by being alive with emotions. But we need to watch out not to overdo it so that we don’t hurt it; everything in moderation is good.

We see the color of red celebrated in events such as Christmas and Valentine’s Day. Christmas is filled with happiness, laughter, tears and unity. Valentine’s Day is filled with love and affection. Both days affect the heart in a good and bad way, depending on the situation and how much the person himself could endure. A sudden break up on Valentine’s Day would make your heart pump faster than it should due to shock and one must be aware of this as it may cause a stroke. Laughing too hard on Christmas would tire the heart, and it is important to give it a break from time to time since our heart is a multi-tasker. I know they say it’s better to follow your logic before your heart, but sometimes you need to listen to your heart to know what is best for you. The heart’s purpose is to keep you alive.

I started with questioning the word “red”, it got answered by color and ended up talking about the heart. Some things we take for granted and forget their real meaning to us. It is only when you let yourself go with the conversation without deeply thinking about it and the real definition slips out and the talk ends with it.

So my answer to my question is: Red is the heart.

645px-Love_Heart_SVG.svg       Heart

Of course, this is only my side of the answer. Red is different for everyone.

What is your Red?