Dishonest Intentions

I am usually an extremely caring, generous, understanding person. But, things will get ugly if I suspect the other party is using me to their advantage in a sneaky way. I can’t describe to which extent my thoughts would reach to. I feel something is boiling inside of me and I am about to explode at any second. I’ve been in this place so many times when dating. I have not fallen in love yet, and I am not in a rush. Till this day, I have no idea what romantic love really is. This is because when I get to dating, I tend to be overly caring and a great listener. If the feelings of the other party disappear, they don’t disclose it. They’d rather keep talking to me for their own advantage. I’ve been with those who use me as a listener as if I am a therapist or a shoulder to cry on literally. I’ve been with those who played nice and “the good guy” to lure me and when I played too hard to get, they confessed of their true intentions after living in a lie they made me believe. I have been with those who wanted my professional background to help with their project. Once they got what they needed, they ghosted. As if I was an object, senseless, heartless without emotions. As if I didn’t really exist.

My friend was telling me dating has changed so much since her days. It was much easier since they weren’t very exposed to social media, texting, the media. They didn’t see much. If they date, it’s a date. If they kiss, it was a commitment just like marriage. She said she had never experienced ghosting, or pretending, or hard times while dating. And, she’s right. I doubt “love” or “feelings” still exist with all this technology around people making everything instant, fast and available when they need it. Before they even know it, it’s defining their personalities, their attitudes, their behaviors, and actions.

Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather have a face-to-face conversation with someone for hours than to text day and night. I’d rather go on adventures, take risks and have fun face-to-face. I’d rather have a surprise in person, not by text or a call. I’d rather be living a simple, farm life with my cows and plants than living in a big city life filled with liars and actors.

I can’t believe this world has become like this, full of dishonest intentions.


Fraudulent Marriages

I’ve heard about these issues a lot; people getting married for money or to gain citizenship and then they divorce once they get what they want.


I’m sorry … what is this?! Are you sure this is called “marriage”?? I think you mean, “manipulation”! 

I am not talking about the case where they both agree on the conditions. Rather, I am talking about those being stabbed in the back! Why? What will they get from money or citizenship? Temporary happiness and short-term benefits. But have they ever looked further?! They hurt someone, manipulated them with a harsh, cold and selfish soul filled with lies of affection and love just to get where they want. And still I ask, why??!! 

I’ll tell you why, because some people aren’t able to control themselves correctly; they let their emotions get hold on them and guide them through greediness and selfishness without thinking it over. It’s like their brains are sitting in their skulls for decoration. 

People should stop this! This is not fair…

If you are still not convinced, well, how about if someone did that to you?! Made you fall in love with them, care about them for years and then suddenly, out of the blue, they say: ” I don’t this is gonna work out. We should end it! I want to divorce.” How would you feel then?!