Tingling


It was unexpected, far from expected!

Then came that fraction-of-the-second touch and everything changed.

A sensation of closeness grew stronger and warmer. More intense, more exciting than the second before.

I wanted more. I felt greedy with CRAVE.

I CRAVED that amazing, heart-racing, tingling feeling that crept under my skin and I didn’t want to let go.

I was willing to take risks, to ignore ridiculous ‘society standards’ that made the enjoyable a taboo, that made life suck more! I was willing to let go just to experience an extra second of pleasure, happiness, rush.

It’s my new, sweet addiction and I don’t need saving.

It saved me.

I am no longer from rotting in the coffin of boredom. I am brought to the light of life.

Cheers!

 

 

 

 

Ma Idole Célébrité


…. is Kate Hudson.

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I loved this actress while watching the movie “How to lose a guy in 10 days”. She was funny, witty, passionate, loving, adorable, crazy, capturing and petite. And up till now, I never grew tired of this movie; and I kept wanting to be more like her (not in looks of course, in personality).

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And somehow her face looked too familiar. She looked just like another actress I’ve considered a great actress and that was her mother Goldie.

 

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I loved Kate Hudson’s sense of humor and her passionate side which were evident in her movies that I’ve loved all together. I would be really get excited to see one of her movies even if I’ve watched them for more than 20 times. She just brings life and happiness to the movie and brightens my day.

It doesn’t end here. She not only inspired me through her movies but  also inspired me in real life. She’s got great style in fashion and beauty that fits my choices. She extends her stylish talent for healthy causes when she has designed a sportswear line to stay fit for Fabletics.

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She also shows her great love and strong relationship for her mother. She is also a mother herself. She inspires family bonds!

She stays natural and real.

I would love that she stays the way she is and never changes because she has inspired me in so many ways and up till now I still look up to her. She’s my celebrity idol!

Who is yours?

My Religion


I am not an atheist and I am not of any XYZ religion. I am myself, Leah. I am different and unique from others. I believe a bit from here and a bit from there. I believe in what seems right to me but I accept others’ beliefs. This is my religion. My religion is not right or wrong or invalid. It is what keeps me hanging on to life; what gives me faith in life. If it were right, wrong or invalid then there would have been proof and no longer a belief, but a fact.

My religion is to accept others, enjoy every second like it’s your last, learn as much as you can, earn your life with your own hands, money does not necessarily provide happiness, be thankful for what you have now, look at yourself and live your own life; don’t look at others’ lives, don’t change who you are unless it’s your choice, explore the world, a person is not measured by their age but by their heart and brains; so no need to lie about your age, the death of one person is as important as a 1,000,000 deaths; each life is expensive, nothing is impossible. 

My religion is not complete yet. It will be when I die, when I have lived my life to the fullest and explored each age with the lessons it has provided through those years. But for now, that is my religion.

I would like to mention something additional and it belongs to the “accept others” part of my religion. I have noticed people participating in religion wars because one’s religion is more dominant over the other (meaning more people belong to this religion than others so they are outnumbered).

This is my belief: They are using religion as an excuse because it’s “holy” and nobody should touch it mistakenly. But the truth is, in my opinion that they fail to accept each other so they end up beating each other and causing deaths. The problem lies in each person, not in religion. Everyone has the choice and they decide what will happen next.

 

I hope I have not hurt anyone’s feelings. This is a sensitive topic, I understand. I would love for you share your opinions, if you like. 

Never Back Down


I am extremely happy!! I am soo happy I want to dance all day non-stop. I’m so happy I want to skydive (Ok.. maybe when I get there I’ll chicken out :P).

Do you want to know why I am happy? I’ll tell you even if you don’t want to know, cuz I am happy 😀

I finally reached my goal! Yesterday, I was accepted into the major I ‘ve fought for  a year.

 I got rejected twice. Can you imagine what it was like for me the second time I got rejected?! I was freaking out… it was like this is it, I failed! That’s the end. Even though I had one final chance to make things right, I lost confidence in myself.  I felt like I was worth nothing, I am a nobody and foolish, stupid and brainless person. I felt that if I couldn’t make it through the second attempt, why wouldn’t I fail again?

 

 

I hated myself! I thought of suicide as the fastest solution to escape. But deep down, I can’t do it! I can’t hurt an insect; how am I supposed to hurt myself?! I can’t do it! 

My mom told me: “ I don’t care anymore. It’s your fault. It’s your life… you choose what will happen. I am not going to say or tell you anything.”
She was right. I’ve got so far and I am too close. It was simply a 0.6% difference from my goal.

I got lectured by my brother harshly but I needed it. He told me that there is no magic spell, I gotta put everything into it and focus. That was the first motivation I got and what got me pissed off. I hated myself for thinking like that. I AM A SOMEBODY and I should prove it.

So I took this course as my final chance and decided to put everything into it!

But in between all this was a huge lie that I held to myself all along. And if I failed, I’ll have to break the news to my dad. And if I do, I’m going to hurt him very badly. I don’t want that!

I needed more motivation, so I caught my hands on a youtube video  I posted earlier: Motivation Speeches by Great People. There was a part where Rocky Balboa speaks to his son; I felt like he was talking to me. It’s true everything he said was said to me as a reminder  of myself that I refused to confront. As I was growing up, I was smart and perseverant and always curious. But somewhere along the line I got lazy and I started looking for easy things and ran away from difficulty. And when things got hard, I started pointing a finger at my professors that they where not good and that’s why I scored bad. That’s not true. It was all in me! I didn’t work hard, I didn’t push to the limits. I gave in!

So every time I feel like lying around and procrastinating I listened to the video. It reminded me of my old me that got me here and I have to get rid of it and GET UP and WORK!!
I studied day and night and worked during my breaks to pay off 10% off my tuition. I studied everything and made sure I understood it. I left space to practice more. And did sports to get rid of the stress and to revive energy in me.

And I made it! I scored an 85 on the course!! And I got accepted!  I MADE IT!! I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF.

Now that I am high above the clouds, I WILL NEVER GO BACK DOWN!  I’ll keep aiming higher. I feel so much better and confident like I own the world. The skies are clear now. I know where I am heading.