Why Care?


 

I always wonder to myself that if I didn’t care too much, I would’ve done a lot and I would’ve been a different person.
As much as caring is considered as act of good, it is also, if overdone, be an act of naivety and insecurity. I’ve realized this … 2 days ago.

Beware, this may get a bit philosophical!

If I didn’t care about what my parents would’ve thought, felt or reacted, I would’ve done it. Yes, I might have done something wrong. But, at least, I carried the consequences and I learned from it.

Please note, I am not talking about extreme cases of stupidity where a person does not understand right from wrong. I am talking about a person, like me, who has reached the stage where they are responsible. I am talking about college stage.

 

If I didn’t care what others thought about me, I would’ve acted the way I like with confidence.

What I am trying to say is that caring is important to a certain extent where it prevents you from acting foolishly, selfishly and rashly. But, caring too much could cause you the adventure of life: taking risks and being confident and aware. Caring too much could make you insecure and turn you into a person that you don’t want to be.

That’s my case. I lack confidence because I care too much about what others think and what my parent think. I was raised in the environment where I have to watch my every move so that it is parallel with my society. And I hate it! I am not able to live life and explore it to the fullest because of this obstacle.

So, I made a promise to myself. When I graduate, I want to find a job abroad and live independently from my parents because they are the main reason that’s slowing me down from adventuring. I mean, at the end of the day, they are parents and in their eyes we are still kids even if we are 40.
In just 3 months, I will be free and independent and able to make the choices I want without anyone nagging and complaining over my head.

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Josh Rouse – Flight Attendant


Eat Pray Love is an amazing movie! I have watched it over and over again and each time it has made me feel spiritually better. Even though I wasn’t actually on Julia’s adventure but the movie is so capturing that you feel as if you’re there!
Not only is the movie capturing, but also the music and songs traps you even deeper into the movie. One of my favorite (and now I am getting addicted to it) is this song!

My Best and Worst Dreams.


I want to share both kinds of dreams.

PINK ALIEN DAY

I had this dream since I was really young, maybe around 5 years old and I still remember only the beginning. I was having fun during and after the dream. It made me smile and still does. It shows how much I love adventure and aliens and space.

I was sitting on the couch at night in the living room watching something on TV and suddenly it became really dark with pink lights appearing. I was excited and rushed to the curtains and opened to see a space-like sky with with pink alien spaceships flying around and all I could see was the color pink with the darkness of space. I was happy and enjoying every moment. Somehow, I had to go to school, so I rushed down to find the school bus waiting for me. I got on the bus, which turned into a red car and the streets became wavy. Pink aliens were walking around like normal people with spaceships in the sky and some were landing.

That’s all I could remember! I don’t know why I love this dream so much and I barely remember what happened in the end.

I AM BAREFOOT

One of my worst dreams and is also very repetitive is that when I am barefoot. And it occurs, always, when I am going to school. I would wake up late every morning and rush to the school bus. Once I am on the school bus, I feel the bus’s floor. I look down and I am barefoot. I get scared, worried, trying to figure out how to get a shoe or whether I should go back home or stay in school for the day without shoes. So the latter happens and I am walking around barefoot, feeling very uncomfortable.

I hate it soooo much!! And it keeps coming at me everytime!!

CUSHION LEATHER MADE OF HUMAN SKIN

OMG! That’s probably the worst and the most clear. It was one hell of a nightmare and I am pretty sure I was screaming during my sleep.

I was walking down the streets late at night. All the shops were closed; only the lamp post lighted the streets. I crossed to the next block and saw the white light coming out from one of the shops. I wasn’t curious at all; I was going to pass by it without looking. But I did! I saw an old man using human skin as leather to his chairs and the remains of the flesh on the floor. I wanted to run away but the shock struck me in my place. I was so scared and I freaked out when the old man turned around and saw me. He wasn’t alone in the shop; he had a gang (that I guess did the kidnapping). He was coming towards me and I immediately ran as fast as possible. I heard him yell to his gang to get me before I said anything. I was on the run. I went immediately to my friends and told them what I saw and I was freaking out as I was telling them that they’re after me. They said they’d help me; so we went on the mini-van and it turns out in the end that one of my friend’s friend was part of the gang from the shop because he kidnapped me. I was in another car with the gang from the shop. The gang were superheroes from cartoon network! I kept asking them why they do this? And they would say we need leather for the chairs and it’s the best. And I would keep getting under their skin to get some emotion, so that I could escape. They had to stop for a bit and this was my chance to escape and I did (How? I have no idea) I was running with the speed of the snail. They were right behind me and I was running in my place!!

Then … I woke up! Thank God, it was just a dream! Pheww!!

That was one hell of a nightmare … what movie was I watching that day?! I hope such murderers don’t really exist; only in movies!

And the worst part is when you’re trying to run and all of the sudden you’re in slow motion! What the hell??!!

Go On Exploring.


The idea of being kidnapped is one of the most frightening things I could ever think of, even more frightening than watching Texas Chainsaw. Ok, maybe the movie is scarier. But still, it’s no fun at all! 

But worst case scenario, if I was given the choice between three options that include getting stranded on an island, locked in a strange building or dropped in an unknown forest…. Well, that’s tempting and quite interesting! All three options are intriguing and difficult to choose from. I know, I know I may sound like a maniac. I am not saying it’s not dangerous; it is! But how often are you given the chance to take a risk to adventure, to explore, to challenge yourself alone?! It would be the most wonderful experience in my life and look outstanding on my CV 😉

But first, I must choose. Let’s see locked in a strange building would be filled with inner and outer mazes (meaning vents) and I can’t go out! That will drive me crazy… I hate staying inside for more than 2 days; it’s a silent killer. I need to see people, see the sun, and feel the breeze. What if that building was haunted? Hmm… living in a paranormal activity… nope thanks!  Not an option.

Second choice: Stranded on an island. I love the beach more than anything in the world, but I’ve found that a lot of people would choose that option and a lot of movies have been made on this topic. It’s too cliché.

That leaves me with option #3: Dropped in an unknown forest. Little or no movies have been made on this topic, as far as I am aware of; where a lone survivor tries to find his or her way out the forest. And I love nature, adventure, excitement, hiking, meeting new friends (animal friends) and being introduced to new creatures on earth that I’ve never seen in my life. It is probably the most dangerous, stupidest decision I might ever make and may put an end to my life; yet this would be the most exciting story in my life. A story that I will never forget and hopefully made into a movie 😛

So if someone ever kidnaps me (I hope not), I would ask them to drop me in the middle of an unknown forest! And I’ll start my expedition from there, like Bear Grylls 😀