It’s Wrong But …

I still don’t understand how it happened. I am the one who ended things between us due to lack of feelings from both our sides.  We kept communicating as friends and even less. A week after the break-up I didn’t feel anything at all. I actually felt relieved that we discussed this openly without any problems. I was happy with this decision. By mid of next week, a new feeling arises, a troublesome amazing one! I miss him. I miss him a lot! I miss being with him, talking to him, listening to him, trying more adventures with him. I was more alive when I was with him. I also changed without realizing it until yesterday when I was with him. My laziness decreased, my enthusiasm went up, my shyness was gone, I felt I was with someone very close, someone I can trust. I just wanted to see his and talk to him and hug him. But my feelings grew stronger when I saw and hugged him; I just couldn’t let go and I wanted to kiss him badly. And we did. And I couldn’t stop. Nor did he. I was enjoying it this time for real. This time I actually had a real, loving feeling for him. He told me he was trying to date someone and I knew what I did was wrong but my emotions were too strong I couldn’t sit still anymore. I don’t want to cut him off. He’s an amazing, caring, honest soul and it’s rare to find a close someone like him.

Should I let go of these feelings and go back to dating, or wait till I’m ready to meet someone new and get busy with my career?



It shocks me how silly moments and phases in life can affect you so deeply.  They make you crumble apart into small pieces in seconds. At this point, you’re completely lost and can’t figure out how to be complete again and the only way available is the easy way; to get back to that phase.