It’s Wrong But …


I still don’t understand how it happened. I am the one who ended things between us due to lack of feelings from both our sides.  We kept communicating as friends and even less. A week after the break-up I didn’t feel anything at all. I actually felt relieved that we discussed this openly without any problems. I was happy with this decision. By mid of next week, a new feeling arises, a troublesome amazing one! I miss him. I miss him a lot! I miss being with him, talking to him, listening to him, trying more adventures with him. I was more alive when I was with him. I also changed without realizing it until yesterday when I was with him. My laziness decreased, my enthusiasm went up, my shyness was gone, I felt I was with someone very close, someone I can trust. I just wanted to see his and talk to him and hug him. But my feelings grew stronger when I saw and hugged him; I just couldn’t let go and I wanted to kiss him badly. And we did. And I couldn’t stop. Nor did he. I was enjoying it this time for real. This time I actually had a real, loving feeling for him. He told me he was trying to date someone and I knew what I did was wrong but my emotions were too strong I couldn’t sit still anymore. I don’t want to cut him off. He’s an amazing, caring, honest soul and it’s rare to find a close someone like him.

Should I let go of these feelings and go back to dating, or wait till I’m ready to meet someone new and get busy with my career?

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