It hits me several times. I always feel nostalgic. I don’t really know the reason behind it, but I guess I’m afraid I’ll lose my memories. Like today, I saw my supervisor when we were in Kindergarten and I’ve always thought that if I were to see any of my old teachers after 10 years I wouldn’t recognize them. But I did! And guess what: she hasn’t changed one bit! Seeing her made me even more nostalgic. Missing those old days when were kids, fooling around without thinking twice.
I get nostalgic the most when I’m in deep shit. I’d start thinking ” if I was back in KG none of this would have happened. I’d get in trouble, get yelled at and that’s it. The next day, I would go on and live my life”. Now, I can’t do that. I get in trouble, I must bear each mistake and fix it. I must bear the consequences. I must get hurt. I must try harder.I get nostalgic because it is harder now. I wish things were easier like when I was a kid.
Nostalgia hits me also, when I sit in a classroom in class and look around. I see where I am today and look back to where I was. I look back to see how much I have accomplished over the years and what changed about me. I have changed into a better, new, less shy and more social person. I’ve made more friends, chose a path I never imagined I’ll get into, I’ve joined clubs that challenged me personally which I’ve always avoided in my past, I’ve improved in so many ways that I don’t want to go back.
At the same time, I miss freedom and non-responsibility, acting foolish, being a kid & careless of what is to come and my teachers, school and friends that I’ve known for 14 years!
I know they say its bad to get too nostalgic and its true. It could form a barrier between you and the reality you live in. You would use it to avoid the world you are in and will never move forward. But I know my limits.